A little blog from an upstart theologian that will do its best to exemplify Christ while sharing a thing or two along the way.
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| Preachin's Blog A little blog from an upstart theologian that will do its best to exemplify Christ while sharing a thing or two along the way. |
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Friday, July 02, 2004 Responding to Dr. Mohler on MarriageRecently Dr. Albert Mohler, the president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, had a talk aired on Family Life Today which was titled: "Fatherly Advice to Singles--Get Married". The gist of his discussion was that singles are committing sin by staying out of marriage and not pursuing a course of action in dating and relationship that takes them to the marriage alter quicker in life. I respectfully, but strongly disagree with Dr. Mohler and my comments below are addressed to him directly about this topic. As background, I am a 25 year old, single seminary student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary who has enjoyed his time of being single and attending to the things of God. I have proclivities to any sexual vice, furthermore I have a signed True Love Waits card on my person at all times and have held to the commitment I signed almost 10 years ago. Dr. Mohler, Recently in a presentation titled Fatherly Advice to Singles--Get Married you made some statements which, while I am sure are well intentioned, caused me some consternation. I am a 25 year old, final semester seminary student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I am a single seminary student who has had several wonderful dating relationships with young Christian ladies which, though not leading to marriage, have been successful relationships. I am a young man devoted to the calling which God has placed on my life, and I have remained a virgin through my life in keeping to a commitment I made to God ten years ago at a True Love Waits rally. I present that background to you so I might be able to speak more effectively to the topic before us. Dr. Mohler I have always appreciated and valued your service for the Kingdom and your work in further equipping believers. On many topics I find your insights both valuable and strong biblical arguments worthy of recognition. In our contemporary culture we throw around the term success quite often and apply it to many differing fields. In churches throughout our country we who are involved in ministry, be it laity or clergy, hear talk about success in many aspects. We hear about having successful churches means growth numerically and spiritually. We hear about having a successful quiet time entails reading particular passages and having varying thoughts. We hear about successful evangelism in reaching those who are without Christ. Success has become a catch phrase in our evangelical culture just as much as in our public culture. Particularly for those of us who are single we hear often about having a successful singleness is finding the right person and getting married. I am confounded by this definition of singleness, and when reviewing the biblical account find this to be a limited definition of successful singleness. With respect to your position as developed in your excellent presentation at the New Attitude Conference, I must disagree that the best thing for all Christian singles is to quickly be married. I appreciated how you brought up Romans 12:1f in the course of the talk at the New Attitude Conference. That particular pair of verses speaks to being set apart from this world as Christians. This sound exhortation from the Apostle Paul speaks directly to my heart in this, and many other matters. Notice though that he is telling the readers of his epistle to present themselves "present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship" (HCSB). The question is therefore begged, due to the context of our topic, can a single do this while maintaining their singleness and not quickly seeking marriage? I believe we can, and believe many of us do. If we wish to enter into a discussion on the biblical principles of marriage and singleness we should examine a passage such as 1 Corinthians 7:8f where Paul exhorts those who are single: "I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire." As we go on we see Paul continue to give credence to a single life that is legitimately devoted to pursuit of the advancement of the Kingdom of God in verses 25-40 of that same chapter. Now certainly I am sure you are far better equipped than I to speak to the exegetical significance behind some of the terminology Paul uses here, yet I wonder how we can say that it is a sin to be single into my late twenties in light of these verses? As I review the passage I see Paul talking about how we singles can use our time to further grow in our sanctification and better serve the Kingdom. Paul even points out that it is fine for a man to stay single (vs. 26.) Immediately thereafter Paul says it is not sinning to be married (vs. 27), the context suggests that chastity was not viewed as sinful behavior either. I believe your point was well made that our contemporary society is filled with sexual immorality and aroused passions which are not intended for use outside the marriage bond. I appreciate your insights into this. Please know that I completely agree that issues of sexual immorality and cohabitation are areas which any Christian is exempted from participation within. We Christians should be at the forefront of calling for purity and chastity in our actions with members of the opposite sex. I believe we have an army of young Christian singles who are out of college, searching for a place in this world, and being turned away by the church which does not know how to minister to them other than querying them relentlessly by asking "Why aren't you married?" In 1 Corinthians 7:32 Paul says: "An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord" (HCSB). Paul's example is that we can take our time as singles to be devoted to advancing in our walks and serving the Kingdom. I certainly have many wonderful memories of my recent years spent doing much for the work of the Kingdom and advancing the cause of Christ through various social enterprises with a church or Christian organization. I also can say that because I have been single for an extra amount of time my personal faith and walk with Christ has grown by large stretches. A great misnomer in Christian culture is that we must be married to accomplish great things for the Kingdom. I give pause to reflect on the lives of Lottie Moon and Annie Armstrong as two relatively recent lives which made great strides for the Kingdom though they were single. The focal point of the message which I am concerned about is the characterization you made of people life myself who have put off marriage, for whatever legitimate reason, as being involved in a sinful act. I see no where in the biblical account where this point of view is extolled or championed by one of the writers. As I sat and considered the scope of the Bible and the stories therein I remember the story about Jacob attempting to find a bride in Genesis 29. Here Jacob put off marriage while working to an end for seven years, and then worked another seven years after being deceived. So I wonder if we can properly accuse Jacob of being in sin for putting off marriage, for as the biblical account tells us he was well above the age of 40 by the time he began looking for a wife. If we allow for a generous read of the text we might see that Jacob was in his 50s by the time he was married. My question is whether or not Jacob was in sin for having waited for marriage? With that question in mind I also must wonder what do we as ministers say to those people who have elected to remain single for the rest of their lives? What do we say to someone who will not ever get married for whatever reason, and they live a celibate, devoted life to Christ? Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:11f “But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can” (HCSB). In the context of the passage Christ had been questioned by the Pharisees about the matter of divorce, then His disciples had suggested that it was better not to marry at all. Yet Christ bridges the gap and says it is good for some to marry and others to remain celibate. When this passage is coupled with Paul’s lengthy discussion in 1 Corinthians 7, as aforementioned, why is it a sin for me to remain unmarried until I am, possibly, in my late twenties? As a final point here I saw that at the outset of your talk you spoke about some statistics from the early 1900s specifically how the average age for marriage then was 18 to 20 for young people. Also you mentioned that currently the average age for marriage is 28 for men and 26.4 for women. While I am sure that we could have a wonderful discussion on sociological factors influencing this change from 1900s through today, this is neither the time nor the place. It should probably be good to note that our society has remarkably changed from the 1900s and we should be thankful for much, though not all, of that change. Back in the 1900s about 2% of the American population were attending college, today we have nearly 60% of our population in college (statistics are available from Microsoft Encarta Online.) The growth in higher education has provided many opportunities for our society and world. In the 1900s it was normal to find your future mate while in high school since that was the terminus of one’s educational endeavors. Notice though that even then many men were still waiting two or three years past graduation from high school before marrying. Today we have pushed back into our early twenties (for me it was when I was 22) when we graduate from college. Then comes time to work towards establishment in our careers, or perhaps take two years and go out as a Journeyman for the International Missions Board. Speaking for myself, I had the opportunity to go to seminary for three years to complete a Masters of Divinity. We have so many great times of service for the Kingdom and time for personal growth I must wonderful aloud how is it possible for us to call waiting to be married a sin? We can help young people to take this time and develop positive personal skills for the betterment of their marriages. Josh McDowell has even mentioned that it was good for him to wait until he was in his thirties to marry for he needed to continue to develop many sound personal and spiritual disciplines. Dr. Mohler I truly appreciate your time and consideration in hearing a differing view on this issue. I have the deepest respect for your ministry and excellence in scholarship as the President of one of our fine Southern Baptist seminaries. To allay any fears, I am indeed looking forward to marriage. I have been earnestly seeking God’s face for many years on how I can develop better personality traits and grow deeper spiritual so I might be better equipped to serve and honor my future spouse. My future wife is in my prayers daily and I pray she is comforted and kept safe by God until that day when I meet her. In my singleness I have found completeness in Christ, in marriage I will continue that completeness in Christ and couple it with the joy of finding a true mate for the rest of my life. I thank God daily for opportunity to find some other person to share times both good and bad; I also give thanks for having several years where I can devote myself to His service and training before finding my future wife. Dr. Mohler I thank you for your time and profound ministry for the Kingdom. I pray God’s rich blessings upon you, your family, and your ministry. If I have minsunderstood or misrepresented your opinions or views in any regards I ask forgiveness and am willing to hear your thoughts more clearly explained. Peace to you and keep Jesus First posted by Preachin Jesus | 1:48 PM | |
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